I had a lot of trauma growing up. My dad was controlling and abusive. My mom wasn’t allowed to work. He hit her and also tried to kidnap me while he was drunk and using hard drugs. When I was still under three, my dad took all of their money and never came back. My mom filed for divorce and put a restraining order on him.
Over time, my mom changed. She hit and pinched me. I was always at my aunt’s house because of her anger issues. My mom left for California with her boyfriend and I stayed with my aunt for a year. I got bullied at school and didn’t have many friends. In 11th grade, I stayed with my dad for a year to get to know him. He was always drunk, would do drugs and smoke. I didn’t sleep, I was depressed and suicidal. He kicked me out after I tried to confront him on the stuff he did to me and my mom.
Around 19 years old, I met my ex-husband. With him being in the military, we got married to get free housing. He had really bad anger issues and was very impatient. He would yell at the TV while playing shooting games. He told me to shut-up, called me names, and hit me. I wasn’t allowed to work, have friends, or go anywhere by myself. When he was on deployment, I had to live with his parents because he didn’t trust me.
When my son was born, my ex-husband and his family would always try to take him from me. They even forced me to sign a paper for them to have guardianship of him, or else my ex-husband threatened to divorce me. They forced me to get an abortion after I got pregnant again. During his last week of deployment, he threatened to kill me, so I took my son and left.
I was staying at a motel where there was a lot of drug activity and I did meth for 4 days. I ended up overdosing and my ex-husband picked me up from the hospital. We got into a big argument, I defended myself and hit him. I went to jail for two days and he bailed me out. He sent my 6 month old son to stay with his parents and CPS got involved, but they closed the case. My ex-husband’s parents lied to me and said I wasn’t allowed to see my son. A couple of months later, my ex-husband kicked me out and filed for divorce. It turned into a default divorce because I didn’t respond to the divorce papers, and he got full custody. He leaves my son with his parents and doesn’t take care of him.
I moved back to stay with my mom, but she let her boyfriend kick me out because I wanted to go on depression medication. He told me I didn’t need it. I was in a relationship on and off with a guy who said if I saved $1000 for a deposit on an apartment, we could live together. I sent him the money, then he left and blocked me.
Around November of 2021, I was dating another guy. We broke up in January of 2022 and then I found out I was pregnant. I came to Mama’s House hopeless and stranded with nowhere else to go. So far it’s been tough, but I’m getting through it one step at a time. I know this is a better situation and opportunity for me, and I have to think about what’s best for my child and me.